Local project in line for UK award

Sixteen-year-old Ayesha Kirkpatrick, whose mother died of cancer two years ago, said the Young Cruse project had given her more confidence to tell other people what she was feeling, without being scared.

Cruse Bereavement Care’s Young Cruse Project is one of only four projects in Northern Ireland to reach the finals of the National Lottery Awards 2010.

The Awards are an annual search to find the UK’s favourite Lottery-funded projects, and Young Cruse now needs the public vote to help them win in the Best Health category.

Ayesha said: "People don’t realise how terribly lost and alone you can feel when someone you love has died. Getting support at Cruse gave me more confidence to tell other people what I was feeling without being scared.

"We have to get the word out there to more young people that support is there for them and it’s okay to talk about your grief."

The Cambridge House pupil was just 14 when her mum Diane died after a two long years of illness.

Being the youngest of three children, Ayesha was the only one still at home, and she helped her dad care for her mother at home until she died.

Ayesha’s dad Adrian got some support in Cruse, and when he found out that the Northern Area Cruse -which is based in Ballymena - was starting up a youth service, he asked Ayesha if she wanted to go along.

Reflecting on that time period, Ayesha said: "I was really in a bad place. I felt so very lost. I didn’t know what to do or where to turn. Didn’t want to talk to my Dad because I was afraid I would upset him, and I couldn’t talk to my friends about it because I figured they wouldn’t understand. I was just in such a deep, dark place.

"I was really nervous about going to Cruse, but the volunteer was really friendly and welcoming. She gave me play dough to keep my hands occupied when I was talking to her so I wouldn’t be so fidgety. After the first couple of weeks, I started to find it easier to talk about stuff and express my feelings.

"I think the main thing it gave me was more confidence to talk to other people about what had happened without being scared. Being at Cruse helped me learn how to express my feelings more, and since then my Dad and I have gotten on much better, and we talk about my mum every day.

"When my mum was sick, we talked a lot about things. She told me she wanted me to do well in school and stick with it so I could go on to university.

"Now, when I don’t feel like studying, I remember her words, and that motivates me to go up to my room and study, so I can do well in school – for her, you know.

"I was the first young person to go to Young Cruse in Ballymena. I think for someone who feels as lost as I did at that time, it’s just the best way to learn to express how you’re feeling, and to help you know that life goes on and that you can fulfil your life instead of feeling like it’s over.

"I still have dark days, but then I come back up, into the light. Cruse has helped me with that, and so have some really good teachers at school. And now, when I have friends whose parent has died, I can support them, because I know how they feel."

Up to 30,000 children and young people every year in Northern Ireland are affected by the death of someone close to them. One in 29 school-aged children have experienced the devastating loss of a parent or sibling; this equates to one child in every classroom.

The Young Cruse project, funded by The Big Lottery Fund, offers bereaved children and young people aged 4-18 access to individual bereavement support from caring volunteers. It also involves young people like Ayesha in shaping the service and raising awareness about childhood bereavement through the Cruse Youth Advisory Group (YAG).

Anne Townsend, Director of Cruse in Northern Ireland, said: "We’re delighted to have reached the Finals of the National Lottery Awards. We’re really hoping that the public will get behind us and vote before 13th August to help recognise the vital support that Cruse provides to bereaved children and young people, alongside our services to adults."

Young Cruse is one of 21 projects across the UK (4 from NI) to have reached the Finals of the National Lottery Awards. The achievement means that Cruse volunteers and Youth Advisory Group members will be featured in a star-studded BBC One show on 4th September, where the winners will be announced.

Since 2005, the Big Lottery Fund has enabled Young Cruse in Northern Ireland to support more than 350 bereaved children and young people and improve bereavement support across the community.

Voting for the finals begins ends midday on Friday, August 13.

To register your vote for Young Cruse (Best Health Category), call 0844 6861434 or you can vote online at the website www.lotterygoodca

uses.org.uk/awards