'SHE WAS THE BEST MOTHER YOU COULD EVER ASK FOR'

It is a beautiful photograph of Diane Hoey cradling her son Taylor and it seems to smile benignly down from the wall at the many visitors, both friends and strangers, who have passed beneath it in recent days to pay their respects.

Once a noisy, happily chaotic place, the kitchen today in this sad Scarva home is hushed and still. And yet, as Diane's grieving husband Sam, mother Noeleen, sister Vanessa and friends Maggie Davison and Donna Hanlon gather to pay tribute to her memory, occasional smiles break through the tears as a funny moment here and there is comfortingly recalled and shared.

I never knew Diane Hoey, but I feel if I had, I would have liked her instantly. Her many friends are testimony to that fact and say she was the sort of person whose presence lingered long after she had gone.

Today, her physical presence has gone after she died on Wednesday, March 10, at the age of 37, from an infection cruelly contracted only a matter of weeks after being given the 'all clear' from cancer. But Sam is determined her memory will live on and she will never be forgotten by her beloved sons Taylor (12) and Josh (9).

"Once you met Diane, you just would'nt forget her; she lit up a room," said Sam. "She touched everyone with her bright sense of humour and bubbly personality. She was blessed with the easy ability to laugh and see the funny side of things - even when her wig accidentally came off along with her hat after she eventually lost her hair through stem cell treatment for Hodgkin's Lymphoma."

Strangely, Diane was one of a small number of patients who do not lose their hair through chemotherapy treatment - her initial line of defence after receiving the devastating diagnosis in January 2007. It was only later, after she had undergone radiotherapy and stem-cell treatment, when her hair started to thin.

"Diane fully expected to lose her hair the same way most people do with chemotherapy, so she bought a wig anyway," said Sam. "It wasn't until later though that she started to lose it, but when it grew back, it was darker and I thought she looked great with her short new haircut."

It was March 2006 when his wife first started to feel unwell and complain of tiredness, breathlessness and a stubborn cough which wouldn't go away. At first she thought it was a nasty bout of flu or that she had pulled a muscle while playing netball. Then, when Diane's friend Maggie remarked on an unusual looking lump on her chest, she decided to pay a visit to the doctor.

"They thought it was the musculoskeletal pain and fatigue disorder, fibromyalgia, at first but the doctor wasn't happy with an x-ray and Diane was called back," explained Sam. "It was a shock when the Hodgkin's Lymphoma diagnosis came through, but even so, they painted quite a positive picture in that 90 per cent of patients with this type of cancer go on to full recovery."

It wasn't long before treatment started, including chemotherapy, radiotherapy and then stem cell treatment which, unfortunately, didn't work. As a last option Diane was offered a bone marrow transplant which she underwent in St James's Hospital, Dublin, on August 12 last year. To everyone's great relief, this was a success, with a scan in January revealing the good news that her body was finally clear of any remaining active cancer cells.It was during the wait for the bone marrow transplant that Diane became interested in helping raise awareness of the need for more donors, even when she was told a match had already been lined up for her."Diane had quite a common tissue match, so we were told not to worry, even though Diane's sister Vanessa and brother Philip had been tested and proved incompatible," said Sam. "Vanessa had been on the register for the Anthony Nolan Trust since she was 16, so she made contact with the Northern Ireland representative of the charity and Diane helped organise four awareness clinics which were a great success, with many people adding their name to the register.

"That was typical of her; she knew she had a common bone marrow, but she wanted to help others facing a similar situation and maybe not having such good odds on getting a match.

"The operation itself was fairly straightforward, but she had to stay in isolation for a while. During that time Diane discovered the joys of internet shopping and had even started to re-design some of the rooms in our home from her hospital bed. She enjoyed that and it gave her a focus, but what she didn't know was that I had organised a surprise treat to see her favourite band, Take That, who were playing in Dublin at the same time she was in hospital."

Following the successful transplant, the family started to slowly breathe again and life began to return to normal, with the Hoeys enjoying their "best Christmas ever" and even making tentative plans for the summer holidays.

"We were really positive, because it looked like Diane had at last beaten this disease," added Sam. "The specialist said her new bone marrow had built up 100 per cent and she even beat the record of hospital discharge, leaving her Dublin ward after 15 days. We kept thinking positively the whole time."

That positivity lasted through the sickness of chemotheraphy, the burning radiotherapy, the crushing disappointment of a failed stem-cell transplant, the ever-present exhaustion, the worry over waiting for a bone marrow match and the nail-biting anxiety prior to delivery of results.

It didn't waver when Sam contracted swine flu just as Diane was called to Dublin for her bone marrow transplant and even in the last days when his wife was being ventilated in an intensive care ward at Belfast City Hospital due to a rare lung infection, he refused to give up hope.

"I am not bitter - what is the point? Everything that could be done, was done," he says. "And rather than 'Why me?' Diane's attitude was more, 'Why not me?' She believed it would have been much worse if we had had to take the children for cancer treatment and I have to take that view too.

"The hardest part is wondering 'why' and not having an answer - especially for my children. We go out sometimes at night and look at the stars and I tell the boys their mum is now in Heaven watching over them. I say, 'She's a star, shining brightly up there' and they ask 'Which one?' I always reply, 'The brightest' because she really was the brightest star and will be irreplaceable in our lives."

In the poignant words of her eldest son Taylor, who penned a tribute to his mother which was read at her packed funeral service at St Matthew's Parish Church in Scarva, Diane was simply "the best mother you could ever ask for".

In his childish words, more moving than any adult's, he says, "...she cared about everybody who was disabled or sick and she helped them.

"She never complained about being sick and even when she was weak and tired and lying on the sofa, she still managed to get up and to make sure that I looked my best.

"She fought for four years and then her little heart stopped. She fought and fought to the very end and she enjoyed all her 37 years."

Prior to her illness, Diane did much work for the Credit Union in a voluntary capacity, rising to the position of president of the Banbridge branch of the organisation. Then, later, at a time when she could have been expected to take things a little easier, she started to do more charitable work, beginning with raising awareness for the Anthony Nolan Trust.

"Diane just couldn't slow down; whenever it was mentioned she said you couldn't change who you were and that was that," added Sam. "She would have done anything for anyone - in 2006 she took part in the Belfast Marathon to raise money for the sister of a woman she knew who needed an artificial leg. Diane was struck by the fact this lady could never walk in sand with her wooden leg and she wanted to do something to help raise the money needed for a more up-to-date version so she could walk along a beach like everyone else."

That kindness was repaid tenfold when dozens of friends, family members and organisations came together to help raise over 11,000 for charities which were close to Diane's heart.

"Money is still pouring in and so far we have been able to give substantial amounts to the Mandeville Unit at Craigavon Hospital, Newry Hospice, the haemotology unit at Belfast City Hospital, the Anthony Nolan Trust and the Willow Foundation which organises special days out for people who are ill," said Sam. "People have been very kind and have held all sorts of fund-raisers. My mum had a joint retirement and birthday night which raised 1,000 from guests making a charitable donation instead of giving gifts.

"There are countless other friends and family members who held various events and collected money on behalf of Diane which will help in the fight against cancer and the care of the sick.

"I know that Diane would be very pleased with all these efforts and we take some comfort from this fact and also the knowledge that so many people have been moved to do much which in turn will benefit many other people. That will be Diane's legacy."